4:12pm. Coffee count: 3 cups, working on 4.
Little Lioness, 18 months, has been napping since 1:30pm after falling asleep on top of me while watching 'Yo Gabba Gabba'. Baby Boy Cub, 1 month, conveniently woke up while I was carrying her upstairs to nap. It has just been that type of day here. I blame it on the weather, but one of them has been crying since I woke up this morning. I know what you are thinking: That's just not possible. OK so it might be a slight exaggeration, but trust me it is very close to the truth. I have become great at tuning out a cry, enough to the point where you know its going on, and are trying to solve the issue, but not enough to let it give you a headache. Unless of course it happens all day long--like today!
During my blissful nap time today, I had a sudden urge to start my blog I have been thinking about. Why not start it on a day that there has been more crying than laughing in the house? I have been thinking of this blog since September 2008, a few weeks after giving birth to my first, Little Lioness (LL from now on). Right around that time, I realized that my life had changed forever. No going back. My body had been through war. My mind was gone. And I had a helpless baby screaming 4+ hours a day. The hunt began right then.
People tell you 'life is going to change' while you are pregnant. I tell every first time pregnant mom I meet, but there is no way to understand until it happens. I tried to imagine, but it's a whole different story when you go through the process yourself. I was officially in this secret club called 'motherhood'. Happy to be there. Unsure, exactly where I was going.
Well, here I am. 18 months later. Still hunting. LL is running around, still screaming. Baby Boy Cub (BBC from now on) laying on the couch staring at the fan. What am I hunting for? My sanity for starters. But really, I am searching for reasons. Reasons why your body has to be utterly destroyed during pregnancy. Reasons why your mind leaves and slowly returns (very very VERY slowly). Reasons why I see a stroller and become instantly envious of its owner. Reasons that I don't even know yet. I hope that my daily hunting will help me to understand motherhood a little more, and maybe, just maybe, I will find my brain. Anyone seen it?
